Wrote this a while ago…
I’m hopeful…open…warm to the idea of love. Not a casual come and go as you please kinda love, but a love that is strong, secure but yet still has freedom within and around it. I’m willing to wait it out now. He’s worth it and so am I.
A love that commits and sticks around, a love I can give freely to and not regret it later, ‘cos I know it feels the same, if not more. A love that prays with me and for me, a love that loves God more than he loves me, so in return a love that honours me and protects me, not just physically but protects my heart, mind & emotions. A love that’s not afraid to tell me when I’m wrong but at the same time a love that forgives me easily and quickly. A love that doesn’t hold grudges and a love that puts me before him.
I look forward to also being that love and more. A free, secure combination, a place where good fruit flourishes and the weeds are quickly removed. A love that holds me close and keeps me warm when the icy winds are blowing. A love that will raise beautiful children to love God.
A simplistic type of love, without the drama, without the stories and lies, no secrets, nothing hidden in the closet. Not a perfect love, but a love that’s perfect for me. A love that nobody else can come between, a love that no devil in hell can destroy. A love that will be ‘until death do us part’. A love that will bring joy; not just to us but to those around us. Life is short. I’m worth it. God says it & I believe it now.
Friends with benefits situation says ‘you’re not worth my love and commitment but I enjoy the familiarity of you physically and it feeds my physical desires. Is that really all you feel your worth and want ? Ask yourself, is that person worth more than that? I’m asking myself as I write….. I’d rather invest in love, go for that swim, than dip my toes in the water and run away.