In that place…mind graffiti


In that place…mind graffiti

Real talk-flows out of the heart.(off the chart)..the smile on the pictures camouflages the very essence of what’s in my heart…Laying down…head in my hands…can’t get my mind right…no matter how hard I try…it’s been a while now..this dark cloud is not passing (me by) so easily…

“Take control” over your emotions….but they aint listening to me!!…where did all this negativity come from?…argh…I can’t… cant think…my heart is longing….longing for peace…incomplete….

Hmmm where I’m residing, high or low….Lord if you hear me..I need you right now…

Always been too emotional, too caring….sensitive heart…feelings easily come and not so easily go with me…I love truly…honestly..openly…..

My body longs for that touch of LOVE…..Not Lust…but LOVE…My soul longs for peace…tranquillity…happiness…one-ness of heart and mind…My spirit is low..yet still holding onto hope…God are you there?  I know you are…but it’s like your hiding behind the door in order for me not to see you…somehow…I know I have to do this part alone…then you’ll step in from behind the door just at the right time…maybe…??

…I allow myself to be exposed and vulnerable by my own transparency…perfect to be used, abused, hurt and rejected….I allow you to see the real me from the get go….comin from where I’m from and where I’m at….why would you choose to involve me in madness?…your own issues is what is causing you to be the way you are….do I deserve that?…u consider me not…Tenderness of heart and soul….I lay on my side, knees tucked into my chest, holding myself tight…let me out of this box…I need to feel…freedom…again…

Release the shackles & bondages from my mind & heart…I have to run…I cannot stay here anymore…a new book needs to be written…cannot be swayed and halted by strategic plans of my enemies…I have things I need to accomplish…but…I can’t get out of here…no door handle, no windows, I can’t breathe…Lord, help me, please…I have so much to pour out it dont even make sense…I’m fragile, hurting in my head…..”Change” where are you?  … “Perfection“, where are you?…”LOVE“…where….are….you..?…wipe the tears from my face…look into the sky, wondering…why Lord, Why?

Destroy in order to rebuild?  Nothing left to destroy…when will the rebuild commence?… will it ever….I lose myself in the music that plays through my speakers….have my Bible sitting in front of me…remains closed…my head remains in my hands….thirsty…but too far from the drink that will quench me…

….what now…

 

*Written some time ago…

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